Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Our History: Homeschool to Courtship

It has been a few years since I wrote my First Thoughts post. My views have not changed, but my will to post those views did change. Courtship gets much criticism, and I was just not as ready as I thought to take on that sort of challenge.  Maybe I am ready now. 

In 1992, we moved to Questa, NM. It was there that we bought a very small log cabin and began homeschooling our children. My son, Bo, was in the 8th grade, while Jesse, my daughter was in the 5th grade. They had attended a small school in Red River, NM, of 35 kids, K-5, three teachers - it was very much like homeschool. My son went to another small school in the 6th grade with all his friends, but in the 7th grade we moved to Taos, NM. Taos was a much larger town and larger school with lots of problems including gangs.  I know these things, because I taught 7th and 8th grade English there - I was Bo's 7th grade English teacher. It was a very rough year for both of us. Although I could handle the rougher kids, I could not handle watching my son be the victim of bullying and gang-like threats. Bo was one of those kids who loved to learn, but he was pressured by other kids not to do well in school. Jesse was having similar social problems, but she was very social. Her teacher was having health issues and took several days a week off - leaving her students with substitutes. Jesse was not learning much.

Near the end of the year, I was having a "discussion" with a fellow teacher concerning a student who had been nothing but a problem for everyone.  This kid's last report card of the year had all F's with one C. The C had been a freebie given by the teacher whom I was having the discussion with. The teacher was saying, "Everyone deserves the right to an education." My argument was that the kid did not want an education, and no one was getting an education when we spent so much time dealing with this problem kid. It was then that the light went on for me.  I could worry, strain, struggle, etc. to teach kids who did not want to learn, or I could homeschool the two kids that God had given me to train up in His way.

And so we began homeschooling. As homeschoolers, we joined a homeschool association. We did lots of 4H with other homeschoolers. We also went to the Christian homeschool conventions. It was at these things that the idea of courtship vs. dating was introduced. At one convention, I remember Little Bear Wheeler asking the audience how many people felt like God had given them their spouse. All hands went up. Then he asked, "So why did you date others?"  Another light went on for us. We continued to hear other Christian homeschoolers and speakers (including Jonathan Lindvall)speak on this subject and became more convinced that courtship was for us and our kids. Although we were convinced that God would bring our children spouses and that dating was not necessary or good, our church was not with us. Nor was our church happy about our homeschooling. We eventually found a church home that had similar views on homeschooling and courtship. It was the beginning and it was good for us, but not easy. More on that later.

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